Men and suicide

Many men carry heavy loads quietly, believing they should cope alone. It doesn't have to be that way, and reaching out is not a failure.

What's happening

Across the world and in South Africa, men are more likely to die by suicide than women, even though women more often report struggling with their mental health. This gap is often linked to how men are raised to handle emotion - to push through, stay strong, and avoid asking for help. The result is that pain can build silently until it becomes a crisis, rather than being expressed and supported earlier.

Signs to notice

• Increased irritability, anger, or aggression rather than visible sadness.
• Withdrawing from friends, family, or hobbies.
• Leaning more heavily on alcohol or other substances to cope.
• Working excessively or staying constantly "busy" to avoid feelings.
• Talking about being a burden, feeling trapped, or having no way out.
• Sudden risk-taking behaviour or reckless decisions.
• A noticeable, unexplained calm after a period of visible distress.

What helps

• Normalise talking about mental health with the men in your life - start with simple, regular check-ins, not just crisis conversations.
• If you're struggling, know that reaching out is not weakness. It's one of the most courageous things you can do.
• Try talking to someone you trust before things reach a breaking point - a friend, colleague, GP, or counsellor.
• Physical activity, structured routines, and connection with others can support emotional wellbeing alongside professional help.
• If alcohol or substances have become a way of coping, be honest about this with a professional - it's common and treatable.
• Encourage the men around you by asking direct, caring questions: "How are you really doing?" and actually waiting for the answer.

When to reach out for help

Reach out urgently if you or a man in your life is talking about not wanting to be here, has a plan to harm himself, or has become suddenly withdrawn after a long period of stress. Increased drinking alongside hopelessness is also a signal not to ignore.

Getting help in South Africa

Cleared Mind's EAP counsellors offer a confidential, judgement-free space for men to talk things through, including about work stress, relationships, and mental health. SADAG's Mental Health Line on 011 234 4837 can also connect you to support groups and professionals who understand these pressures.

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If you or someone else is in immediate danger, reach out now. SADAG Suicide Crisis Helpline (24h): 0800 567 567 or SMS 31393. SAPS 10111, ambulance 10177, GBV Command Centre 0800 428 428.