Supporting a friend to seek help

Noticing a friend is struggling and gently encouraging them towards support is one of the most valuable things you can do.

2 min read · Awareness resource · Reviewed 2026-09-15

Watching someone you care about struggle can leave you feeling helpless, especially if you are not sure how to bring it up. You do not need to have the answers; you just need to open the door.

What it is

Supporting a friend to seek help means noticing changes in someone's wellbeing, checking in with care, and gently encouraging them towards professional support when needed, without forcing, diagnosing or taking over. Your role is to be a caring bridge, not a substitute for professional help.

Signs to notice

Your friend has withdrawn from activities, messages or plans they used to enjoy.
Their sleep, energy, eating or appearance has changed noticeably.
They seem more irritable, tearful, numb or on edge than usual.
They have mentioned feeling hopeless, like a burden, or that things will not get better.
You feel a quiet sense that "something is off," even if you cannot name it.

What helps

Choose a private, unhurried moment to check in, and ask an open question such as "I've noticed you seem different lately, how are you really doing?"
Listen more than you talk. Avoid rushing to fix things or minimising what they share.
Avoid judgemental language, and resist the urge to diagnose them or compare their situation to your own.
Gently mention professional support as an option, such as an EAP, a helpline or a counsellor, and offer to help them find the number or make the first call.
Follow up again in a few days. One check-in is good; ongoing care is better.
Look after your own wellbeing too, since supporting someone else can be emotionally heavy.

When to reach out for help

If your friend mentions thoughts of self-harm, suicide, or not wanting to be here anymore, take it seriously every time, even if it is said casually. Stay with them if possible, and help them contact a crisis line or emergency services immediately.

Getting help in South Africa

Encourage your friend to speak to a Cleared Mind EAP counsellor if they are eligible, or to call SADAG's Mental Health Line (011 234 4837) for support and referrals. If you are ever worried about their immediate safety, the SADAG Suicide Crisis Helpline (0800 567 567, or SMS 31393) is available 24 hours a day.

If you or someone else is in immediate danger, reach out now. SADAG Suicide Crisis Helpline (24h): 0800 567 567 or SMS 31393. SAPS 10111, ambulance 10177, GBV Command Centre 0800 428 428.