Domestic Violence: Getting Safe

If you are in danger right now: call SAPS on 10111, or 112 from a mobile. For 24-hour support and help finding a shelter, call the GBV Command Centre on 0800 428 428.

Maybe you are scared of what happens when they get home. Maybe you keep telling yourself it is not that bad. If someone at home hurts you, threatens you or controls you, it is not your fault, and you deserve to be safe.

Staying safe on your phone: if someone may check your phone, read this in a private or incognito tab, clear your browser history afterwards, or use a trusted friend's phone, a work phone or a library computer.

What is happening

Domestic violence is any pattern of abuse by a partner, ex-partner, family member or someone you live with. It is not only hitting. The Domestic Violence Act covers physical, sexual, emotional, verbal, psychological and economic abuse, intimidation, harassment, stalking, damage to your things and entering your home without permission.

You can apply for a protection order at any magistrate's court. It is free and you do not need a lawyer. The clerk of the court will help you fill in the forms. The magistrate can give you an interim order the same day, even if the abuser is not there. If the abuser breaks the order, the police can arrest them.

Leaving is often the most dangerous time. That is why planning matters. You do not have to leave today to start getting safer.

Signs to notice

• They hit, push, choke or threaten to hurt you, your children or your pets
• They control your money, phone, friends or where you go
• You change how you act so they will not get angry
• They threaten to take the children, kill themselves or hurt you if you leave
• They force or pressure you into sex
• Things are getting worse or happening more often

30-second self-check

Answer yes or no. If you answer yes to the first question, stop here and get help now: call SAPS on 10111 or 112 from a mobile.

• Are you afraid you could be seriously hurt today or tonight?
• Has the violence become worse or more frequent lately?
• Have they ever choked or strangled you, even once?
• Have they threatened to kill you, your children or themselves?
• Do they have a gun or easy access to one?
• Have you recently left, or are you planning to leave?
• Do they control your money, phone or movements?

0-1 yes: If your yes was the first question, get help now on 10111 or 112. Otherwise, trust your feelings. Talk to someone at the GBV Command Centre on 0800 428 428 and start a safety plan.
2-3 yes: Your safety is under real pressure. Please call the GBV Command Centre on 0800 428 428 today, and make a safety plan before anything else.
4 or more yes: Please treat this as urgent. Call the GBV Command Centre on 0800 428 428 now, or SAPS on 10111 if you are in danger. Choking and threats to kill are serious warning signs.

What you can do next

• Today: Save 10111 and 0800 428 428 in your phone under a name only you know. Tell one person you trust what is happening.
• This week: Pack a small grab bag with ID, cash, medicine and a spare key, and leave it with someone safe. Go to the magistrate's court to ask about a protection order.
• This month: Keep a private record of what happens, with dates and photos, somewhere the abuser cannot find it, like a trusted friend's phone or email. Link up with a counsellor or social worker.
• If you need to leave, the GBV Command Centre can help you find a shelter for you and your children.
• Agree on a code word with a friend or neighbour that means "call the police".

Your tool

Safety Plan Builder - helps you write down your warning signs, safe places, trusted people and what to take, so you have a plan ready when you need it.

When to get professional help

Get help as soon as you feel afraid. You do not need bruises to deserve support. A counsellor, social worker or attorney can help you plan, go to court and heal.
Who can help: emergency services (SAPS), GBV shelters, social workers, counsellors, Legal Aid South Africa, family law attorneys

Getting help in South Africa

• GBV Command Centre (0800 428 428): 24-hour support, counselling and help finding shelters.
• SAPS (10111): can respond to an emergency, open a case and enforce a protection order. Many stations have a Victim Friendly Room.
• Magistrate's courts: apply for a protection order under the Domestic Violence Act. It is free.
• Legal Aid South Africa (legal-aid.co.za): free legal help if you qualify.
• Department of Social Development: social workers and shelters through the Victim Empowerment Programme.
• Cleared Mind 24-hour Careline (0800 212 146): someone to talk to, any time.