Supporting someone after an attempt

Finding out someone you love has attempted suicide is one of the most frightening things a person can go through. In the days and weeks that follow, how you show up for them matters enormously.

What it is

Supporting someone after a suicide attempt means offering steady, non-judgemental care during a period that is often confusing, painful and fragile for everyone involved. The person who survived may feel shame, relief, confusion, or a mix of all three. Family and friends often feel shock, fear, guilt or anger. All of these reactions are understandable. The goal in this period isn't to have the perfect words, but to stay present and connected while professional support does the rest.

Signs to notice

Be aware that in the weeks after an attempt, the person may:

• Feel embarrassed or ashamed, and avoid talking about what happened.
• Struggle with practical and emotional fallout, including hospital stays, work absence or family reactions.
• Still experience suicidal thoughts, even if the immediate crisis has passed.
• Withdraw further if they feel judged, blamed or watched too closely.
• Need consistent routine, safety and connection more than advice or lectures.

What helps

• Approach them with warmth rather than shock or blame. Something simple like "I'm so glad you're still here, and I want to understand how to support you" can mean a great deal.
• Avoid demanding an explanation for "why." There often isn't a single, simple reason, and pressing for one can feel like an interrogation.
• Follow their lead on how much they want to talk about it, while staying open if they do want to.
• Help with practical safety, including means restriction, without taking over their whole life.
• Encourage and support ongoing professional care. Recovery after an attempt usually takes time and continued support, not a single conversation.
• Look after your own wellbeing too. Supporting someone through this is heavy, and you deserve support as well.
• Watch for continued warning signs, and don't assume the risk has passed just because the immediate crisis is over.

When to reach out for help

Professional support should be involved as early as possible after an attempt, ideally starting in hospital or shortly after discharge. If you notice ongoing hopelessness, talk of dying, or a specific plan forming again, treat it as urgent and seek emergency help without delay.

Getting help in South Africa

Cleared Mind's EAP counsellors can support both the person who attempted and the family or friends around them, individually or together. SADAG also runs support groups and a Mental Health Line on 011 234 4837 for ongoing guidance.

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If you or someone else is in immediate danger, reach out now. SADAG Suicide Crisis Helpline (24h): 0800 567 567 or SMS 31393. SAPS 10111, ambulance 10177, GBV Command Centre 0800 428 428.