What to Do If You Feel Unsafe at Home

If you are reading this because home does not feel safe, please know that what you are feeling matters. Many people live with fear for a long time before they tell anyone, often because they are worried about money, the children, or what family will say. You deserve to be safe, and there are people whose job it is to help.

If you are in danger right now, call SAPS on 10111 or 112 from a mobile, or the GBV Command Centre on 0800 428 428.

What is happening

Feeling unsafe at home can mean many things: a partner who hits or threatens you, a family member who controls your money or phone, someone who frightens you when they drink, or an adult child who takes your pension. South African law, mainly the Domestic Violence Act 116 of 1998, treats all of these as possible forms of domestic violence. The police must help you, including helping you get medical care and get to a safe place.

Abuse often follows a pattern. There may be a build-up of tension, an incident, then apologies and promises, and then the tension builds again. Over time it may become more frequent or more serious. Leaving, or preparing to leave, can be one of the most dangerous times, which is why planning ahead matters.

A safety plan is a simple set of steps you prepare in advance: where you would go, who you would call, what you would take, and how the children would stay safe. You can make one whether you plan to stay, leave, or are not sure yet.

Signs to notice

• You feel afraid of someone you live with
• You avoid certain topics or keep quiet to prevent an outburst
• You have been hurt, or things have been broken during arguments
• Your phone, money or movements are controlled
• The children are frightened or have seen violence
• You have been told nobody will believe you, or that you will lose the children

30-second self-check

Answer yes or no to each question.

• Are you afraid of someone in your home?
• Has anyone at home hurt or threatened you in the last month?
• Is there a weapon in the house?
• Have the children seen or heard violence?
• Would you have somewhere safe to go tonight if you needed it?
• Does anyone you trust know what is happening?

0-1 yes: Keep this page in mind. Knowing where help is can make a difference later.
2-3 yes: It is time to make a safety plan and tell someone you trust.
4 or more yes: Please reach out today. The GBV Command Centre (0800 428 428) and SAPS (10111) can help you right now.

What you can do next

• Today: Decide on a safe place you could go at short notice: a trusted friend, family member, church, or shelter. Agree a code word with someone you trust that means "call the police".
• This week: Pack a small bag and keep it somewhere safe, or with someone else: ID, birth certificates, bank card, some cash, medication, phone charger, spare keys, copies of important documents.
• This month: Think about a protection order. You can apply at your magistrate's court without an attorney and at no cost.
• Save emergency numbers under an ordinary name if your phone may be checked.
• Teach children how to call 10111 and where to go if there is violence.
• If you are hurt, go to a clinic or hospital and ask for your injuries to be recorded.

Your tool

Immediate Safety Check - a private, quick check that helps you understand your level of safety right now and walks you through a personal safety plan.

When to get professional help

Reach out straight away if there are threats to kill, strangling, weapons, violence getting worse, or if you are planning to leave. A social worker, counsellor or GBV organisation can help you plan safely. If you are having thoughts of ending your life, call the Suicide Crisis Helpline on 0800 567 567.

Who can help: SAPS and emergency services, shelters and GBV organisations, social worker, Legal Aid SA, counsellor, psychologist

Getting help in South Africa

The GBV Command Centre, 0800 428 428, is available 24 hours a day and can connect you to counselling, shelters and police. SAPS (10111) must assist victims of domestic violence. Thuthuzela Care Centres support survivors of sexual violence. Legal Aid SA (legal-aid.co.za) can help with protection orders and related legal matters. Childline (116) supports children. The Cleared Mind Careline, 0800 212 146, is open 24 hours and can link you with a counsellor.